actually *gulp* leave Olomouc?

Well, I did it, but I didn't like it. I left Olomouc. Yesterday afternoon. I waited until the last train that would get me to Banská Štiavnica (in Slovakia) at a reasonable hour. I waited until the last reasonable minute to leave the hostel and head towards the tram that would take me to train station. I had bad timing, and had to wait 10 minutes for the next tram, every one of which I used gazing longingly towards the hostel (which I knew had available beds that night) and waging an internal war. But I forced myself to get on the tram. Then the train. Then another train, and another one. And it was beautiful out the windows, I listened to some great podcasts and looked at the scenery and chatted with a nice guy who I had met at the hostel and happened to be going my direction for a while. But it wasn't nearly as pleasant as other train rides have been. Not even a juicy apple could sweeten my mood. Nope, there was nothing for it. I would have to go back, I decided. Leaving just felt wrong, no two way about it. So I booked a couple more nights, and after I romp around the high and low Tatras for a bit I will return! The feeling of relief is quite tangible. Now I can really enjoy my next train ride.

I really wonder at this, because I had no trouble at all leaving San Francisco. I think it's because, financial considerations aside, it will be leaps and bounds easier to move there than to a city none of my friends or family have ever heard of in Czech Republic. There is nothing in the way of San Francisco, no chance it won't happen for logistical reasons (again, we're ignoring money matters for the moment). But moving to Europe is another story - while I know I will make it happen, it simultaneously seems so much more likely to not happen. What if leaving is for good? Or what if I end up waiting 3, 4, 5 years to come back?

Anyways, I know I'll have to leave Olomouc again, and it will most likely be very difficult again, but there are still other places to go and things to be seen, and the whole town isn't going to grow legs and walk away any time soon.